Ten Years in the Making
For the longest time, this story lived only in my head.
I’ve been carrying this world with me for over ten years. It followed me through different times, different countries and different versions of myself. I’d catch myself thinking about scenes walking home, imagining conversations between characters while going to the bakery I used work at 5.30 a.m, or solving plot problems looking outside a bus window heading to school. It became part of me and lived with me for years before it ever became words on a Word page.
Then last year, something changed. After years of reliving and rewriting pieces in my head, and slowly building the world, everything started finding its place. Characters who had been subtle voices suddenly became real people with habits, with purposes and loved ones. The story finally knew what it wanted to be, and I started to feel like I wasn’t chasing it anymore. I was catching up for the first time, since it found me.
Since then, I’ve spent countless hours writing, deleting, rewriting, questioning, deleting again, and then writing it all over again. And again. If you’ve ever written anything creative, you’ll know the feeling. And don’t even get me started on editing… You think you’re just polishing a chapter and suddenly it’s 2 a.m. with your day job starting at 7.30 in the morning.
And now… it’s almost there.
I’m still deep in the editing process, still not done, and because of that I sometimes catch myself hesitating to even talk about it. There’s this strange feeling of not being allowed to call myself a writer yet, like I need to wait until it’s finished. It’s hard to own it until the outcome is there.
But the other day I spoke to someone with so much wisdom, and she told me something that stayed with me. She told me that I am a writer. That even though it can be hard to own it while juggling different things in life, it doesn’t make it any less true. It reminded me of something I’ve felt before. How, even after years of training and work, I once hesitated to call myself an actor too. Eventually I passed that point and funny how I fell into my pattern again in this too.
She also said, no matter what I do or where I am, that I am who I am. That being a creator, an actor, a writer doesn’t switch on and off depending on where I am in the process. It just is. I just am.
To honour this truth, I had an idea. I decided to finally share what I’m doing now, before the outcome. The destination is always there with all its glory, while the journey is here with me to enjoy and embrace. So, I’m here writing this blog and sharing my writing journey for the first time for this reason. Other than my friends and family, I never shared this, and today I’m changing that. The journey matters, even when it’s hard to see that while you’re on it.
It’s exciting. It’s terrifying.
This blog is where I’ll be sharing little pieces of my journey, whatever happens between now and publication. Spoiler alert: the book is a sci-fi dystopian novel. I’ll be only sharing bits and pieces without giving too much away, because I want you to discover the story for yourself when the time comes.
Whether you’ve been cheering me on from the beginning or you’ve only just found your way here, thank you for being part of it. You mean a lot to me.